While I'm over here in Shenzhen pitying on my 50th Honkai banner for that 0.6% 5-star, Japan's Nintendo faithful are dropping yen on plastic cartridges like it's 2013. Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream held #1 on Famitsu physical charts for week two, shifting another 178,533 copies to hit 743,938 total. That's more stable sales than any gacha's got after the hype dies—no dupes, no resin limits, just endless Mii chaos that keeps the salarymen hooked.

Pokémon Pokopia, that weird spin-off where you play as the mons themselves courtesy of Game Freak and Koei Tecmo, clawed to #2 with 17,039 last week, totaling 927,044 physical and sniffing 1 million. Long tail like a proper evergreen gacha, but without the whale regret. Meanwhile, new entry Pragmata's Switch 2 version (14,453) outsold its PS5 counterpart (12,786), because why buy Sony when Nintendo's hardware is printing money?

Switch 2 crushed hardware too—45,825 units last week, pushing lifetime to 5,153,222, outselling PS5, old Switch models, and Xbox combined. No live service grind, no battle pass FOMO, just buy once and play forever. Makes my gacha spreadsheet look like chump change. Nintendo's the real whale trap, and JP's swimming right in.