Liquid Swords just shipped Samson: A Tyndalston Story into Steam hell with a measly 52% Mixed rating from 757 reviews, and even they admit the game-breaking bugs are 'unacceptable' – yeah, no shit, corpses resurrecting and launching into orbit, NPCs suiciding into traffic, and one fucking autosave that nukes hours of progress like a bad acid trip.

Ex-Just Cause lead Christofer Sundberg puked out a patch promise for tomorrow, April 10th, swearing to squash crashes, stuttering, mission fuckups like Suzy Red multiplying like roaches, enemies actually advancing instead of blue-balling you, and – praise the devil – up to eight save slots so you don't rage-quit into oblivion after getting fridge-trapped.

Reddit's r/samsongame is a cesspool of shader crashes, flying cars, and out-of-bounds exploits, while X users question why these clowns launched a janky dumpster fire instead of delaying like civilized devs – skill issue or ego trip?

Devs vow the game's future growth in quality and content, but right now Samson's a buggy corpse twitching in Tyndalston's gutters – patch it harder or join the flops in the grave.