ARC Raiders is gasping for air at 72,000 CCU after peaking at a fat 481,000 on Steam, and Embark's response? Hurl a coastal shitshow called Riven Tides at us tomorrow like it's gonna resurrect the corpse. This extraction shooter that already milked 12.4 million suckers for $560 million is clawing back players with a rusty resort map, beachcombing for buried loot via Dockmaster’s Detector, and a flying fuck-you called the ARC Turbine – because nothing says 'come back' like turbine blades to the face.

Buckle up for the 'Last Resort' event running April 28 to May 25, where you grind Merits from XP or tiny ship models for Raider Tokens and drip like a Junior Outfit – because who doesn't want to look like a budget Bond villain while getting rekt? Raider projects like Avian Alarm have you building bird cages as a tremor sensor, unlocking more backpack bling, and a new Expedition window till May 11 promises skill points for damage dealt, extra stash space, and evolved outfits. PS5 Pro gets some shiny upscaler bullshit too. Embark's small team is busting ass post-level 75 complaints and matchmaking fuckups that pitted casuals against psychos.

X is buzzing with hype – 'not dying, evolving!' screams one account amid the 80% player plunge cope – while Reddit's r/ArcRaiders drools over trailers and POIs like Pool and Beachfront, though a few whiners lost steam last week. This 'critical update' better slap harder than a turbine to the nuts, or ARC Raiders joins the live service graveyard with the rest of the flops we pissed on last year.

If Riven Tides turns the tide, fine – thrill it. But one whiff of recycled trash and it's funeral flowers from me.